Spain, especially Madrid, is famous for its discotecas. Madrid is after all one of the party capitals of the world. The biggest discoteca: Kapital, with 7 floors and each floor plays a different genre of music. If you stay on the first floor you get to experience the “wind guster,” a machine that generates large gusts of wind at the height of the techno beat. You know in the rap videos, where they roll up to the fancy clubs and there are bouncers in black suits with earpieces acting like they’re the secret service while ushering in women in mini skirts and ten-inch heels? I always wondered if those places actually existed; they do, and most of them are in Spain. There are hundreds of them, maybe thousands. After we had visited a few of them, we asked our Spanish roommate what the deal was with the social etiquette in the discotecas; we just didn’t get it. This is the breakdown he gave us:
“Well, it’s all about the cobra.”
Us: “The cobra? What?”
“Yeah, all guys fear the cobra, you know, when a guy goes to kiss a girl and she moves her head back like a cobra while looking at him like, I don’t think so” “You don’t do the cobra? What do you do if I guy tries to kiss you?”
Us: “Oh, well, guys don’t typically try to kiss you if they don’t think you’re interested…”
“But if he doesn’t try to kiss you, then how does he know you are or aren’t interested?”
Us: “Well, if you’re talking with him, depending on the conversation he could tell if you are interested.”
Look of confusion…Well, if some guy does try to kiss you and you don’t want to kiss him, what do you do?”
Us: “Well, I guess we would give him the cheek.”
“The cheek?! If you give him the cheek he thinks, alright I got the cheek, I got a chance! No, the girl does the cobra. Then the guy has the option to respond with the bear.”
Us: “The bear?”
“Yeah, the bear, like a bear hug. Then the girl can respond with the kangaroo.” (Demonstrated with both hands and foot pushing away bear hug.)
This is actually a true story. And we actually could have used these moves out. Now you are prepared for a visit to a discoteca in Madrid. Have fun and be ready! :)
